Humor Quotes

Don't throw me teddy-bears, I'm 23! I'm a man! Throw me condoms or money! Paper, not coins.

That's the problem, Gaz [Gary Barlow]. I've always loved you in a gay way.

It was like watching my favourite pub burning down.

If you wanted to torture me, you'd tie me down and force me to watch our first five videos.

As for his secret to staying married: "My wife tells me that if I ever decide to leave, she is coming with me."

Pagers are my life--I try to get them in to our music as much as possible.

Whatever you see you gotta keep a sense of humor; you gotta be able to smile through all the bullshit.

I don't take me seriously. If we get some giggles, I don't mind.

And I loved Fats Waller. I love his instrumental abilities, his vocal abilities and his sense of humor.

Microphones are just like people, if you shout at them, they get scared.

I am alive and well and unconcerned about the rumors of my death. But if I were dead, I would be the last to know.

I have a BMW. But only because BMW stands for Bob Marley and The Wailers, and not because I need an expensive car.

When a man and a woman roll over each other on velvet grass in Kashmir valley, you expect them to make love - not sing in the voices of Kishore Kumar and Lata Mangeshkar.

My mom loved to sing - and I'll go on record and say she was the worst singer ever. I'd get up and move away from her!

I had holes in my jeans well before it was fashionable.

It's not all wet towels and naked women. I was so disappointed to learn that.

A lot of my rhymes are just to get chuckles out of people. Anybody with half a brain is going to be able to tell when I'm joking and when I'm serious.

Don't do drugs, don't have unprotected sex, don't be violent. Leave that to me.

You can always tell where Diana Ross has been by the hair that's left behind!

Actually I don't remember being born, it must have happened during one of my black outs.