It's a dangerous thing to be married right up to the hilt, like my daughter's husband. The man is at home all day, like a damned soul in hell.

My most brilliant achievement was my ability to be able to persuade my wife to marry me.

My wife and I tried two or three times in the last 40 years to have breakfast together, but it was so disagreeable we had to stop.

A man doesn't know what happiness is until he's married. By then it's too late.

Call no man unhappy until he is married.

Both marriage and death ought to be welcome: the one promises happiness, doubtless the other assures it.