As for his secret to staying married: "My wife tells me that if I ever decide to leave, she is coming with me."

A man doesn't know what happiness is until he's married. By then it's too late.

Call no man unhappy until he is married.

My most brilliant achievement was my ability to be able to persuade my wife to marry me.

I have now come to the conclusion never again to think of marrying; and for this reason; I can never be satisfied with any one who would be blockhead enough to have me.

My wife and I tried two or three times in the last 40 years to have breakfast together, but it was so disagreeable we had to stop.