A man doesn't know what happiness is until he's married. By then it's too late.

As for his secret to staying married: "My wife tells me that if I ever decide to leave, she is coming with me."

Both marriage and death ought to be welcome: the one promises happiness, doubtless the other assures it.

My most brilliant achievement was my ability to be able to persuade my wife to marry me.

Behind every successful man, there is a woman - And behind every unsuccessful man, there are two.

It's a dangerous thing to be married right up to the hilt, like my daughter's husband. The man is at home all day, like a damned soul in hell.