If you see a man opening a car door for a woman, it means one of two things: it's either a new woman or a new car!

A mother takes twenty years to make a man of her boy, and another woman makes a fool of him in twenty minutes.

When a man and a woman roll over each other on velvet grass in Kashmir valley, you expect them to make love - not sing in the voices of Kishore Kumar and Lata Mangeshkar.

Don't throw me teddy-bears, I'm 23! I'm a man! Throw me condoms or money! Paper, not coins.

"I hope, sir, that I will shoot your picture on your hundredth birthday." I don't see why not, young man. You look reasonably fit and healthy.

You can always tell where Diana Ross has been by the hair that's left behind!