Americans are funny people. First, you shock them, and then they put you in a museum.

Mick Jagger

AmericansShockMuseumFunny...+1

By trying we can easily learn to endure adversity. Another man's, I mean.

Mark Twain

TryingEasilyLearnEndure...+1

Of all God's creatures, there is only one that cannot be made slave of the leash. That one is the cat. If man could be crossed with the cat it would improve the man, but it would deteriorate the cat.

Mark Twain

GodCreaturesCatSlave...+1

Why did God create men? Because vibrators can't mow the lawn.

Madonna

GodMenVibratorsMow...+2

I was educated once - it took me years to get over it.

Mark Twain

YearsEducatedOver It

Quitting smoking is easy, I've done it hundreds of times.

Mark Twain

QuittingSmokingHundredTimes