God created war so that Americans would learn geography.

I learned to walk as a baby, and I haven't had a lesson since.

The older I get, the more clearly I remember things that never happened.

One of the most striking differences between a cat and a lie is that a cat has only nine lives.

In the first place God made idiots. This was for practice. Then He made School Boards.

April 1. This is the day upon which we are reminded of what we are on the other three hundred and sixty-four days.