Funny Quotes

I wanted to be that quirky girl who writes funny songs that still have meaning.

Do you know, it's funny, but I never thought of being blind as a disadvantage, and I never thought of being black as a disadvantage.

I will not join any club who will take me as a member.

What a sad business, being funny.

My way of joking is to tell the truth. It's the funniest joke in the world.

When a thing is funny, search it carefully for a hidden truth.

It's a funny thing that when a man hasn't anything on earth to worry about, he goes off and gets married.

The 'Billionaire' song is what my kids tease me with. They sing it to me. It's funny.

No man has a good enough memory to be a successful liar

A day without laughter is a day wasted.

Both optimists and pessimists contribute to society. The optimist invents the aeroplane, the pessimist the parachute.

Politicians and diapers must be changed often, and for the same reason.

Never argue with stupid people, they will drag you down to their level and then beat you with experience.

If you don't read the newspaper, you're uninformed. If you read the newspaper, you're mis-informed.

The chief function of the body is to carry the brain around.