Funny Quotes

The chief function of the body is to carry the brain around.

If you don't read the newspaper, you're uninformed. If you read the newspaper, you're mis-informed.

Never argue with stupid people, they will drag you down to their level and then beat you with experience.

Politicians and diapers must be changed often, and for the same reason.

I believe in the discipline of silence, and could talk for hours about it.

Both optimists and pessimists contribute to society. The optimist invents the aeroplane, the pessimist the parachute.

A day without laughter is a day wasted.

No man has a good enough memory to be a successful liar