Funny Quotes
Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the the universe.
When you are courting a nice girl an hour seems like a second. When you sit on a red-hot cinder a second seems like an hour. That's relativity.
Once you can accept the universe as matter expanding into nothing that is something, wearing stripes with plaid comes easy.
In china when you're one in a million, there are 1300 people just like you.
The 'Billionaire' song is what my kids tease me with. They sing it to me. It's funny.
Never argue with stupid people, they will drag you down to their level and then beat you with experience.
Politicians and diapers must be changed often, and for the same reason.
Both optimists and pessimists contribute to society. The optimist invents the aeroplane, the pessimist the parachute.
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