I will not join any club who will take me as a member.

Americans are funny people. First, you shock them, and then they put you in a museum.

Politicians and diapers must be changed often, and for the same reason.

My wife thinks she's better than me at puzzles. I haven't given in on that one yet.

In china when you're one in a million, there are 1300 people just like you.

The source of all humor is not laughter, but sorrow.