Politicians and diapers must be changed often, and for the same reason.

Mark Twain

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Americans are funny people. First, you shock them, and then they put you in a museum.

Mick Jagger

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I read somewhere that 77 per cent of all the mentally ill live in poverty. Actually, I'm more intrigued by the 23 per cent who are apparently doing quite well for themselves.

Jerry Garcia

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A man doesn't know what happiness is until he's married. By then it's too late.

Frank Sinatra

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"I hope, sir, that I will shoot your picture on your hundredth birthday." I don't see why not, young man. You look reasonably fit and healthy.

Winston Churchill

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Our dog chases people on a bike. We've had to take it off him.

Winston Churchill

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