Politicians and diapers must be changed often, and for the same reason.

The 'Billionaire' song is what my kids tease me with. They sing it to me. It's funny.

Americans are funny people. First, you shock them, and then they put you in a museum.

The people are applauding you because none of them understands you and applauding me because everybody understands me.

Humor is the sublime wisdom of pity and tolerance in which man recognizes the utter futility of his own enterprise and importance.

All I need is the opportunity,' I said confidently. He smiled. 'Seventeen's very young, and you look even younger.' I shrugged off-handedly. 'That's a question of make-up.' Karno laughed. That shrug, he told Sydney later, got me the job.