God created war so that Americans would learn geography.

Will the people in the cheaper seats clap your hands? And the rest of you, if you'll just rattle your jewelry.

Politicians and diapers must be changed often, and for the same reason.

How has retirement affected my golf game? A lot more people beat me now.

I will not join any club who will take me as a member.

Our dog chases people on a bike. We've had to take it off him.