An atheist is a man who watches a Notre Dame - Southern Methodist University game and doesn't care who wins.

Dwight Eisenhower

AtheistNotre DameSouthern MethodistUniversity...+3

Our dog chases people on a bike. We've had to take it off him.

Winston Churchill

DogBikeChasePeople

Americans are funny people. First, you shock them, and then they put you in a museum.

Mick Jagger

AmericansShockMuseumFunny...+1

In china when you're one in a million, there are 1300 people just like you.

Bill Gates

ChinaMillionPeopleOne

Will the people in the cheaper seats clap your hands? And the rest of you, if you'll just rattle your jewelry.

John Lennon

PeopleCheaperSeatsClap...+3

When I was a small boy in Kansas, a friend of mine and I went fishing and... we talked about what we wanted to do when we grew up. I told him that I wanted to be a real major league baseball player, a genuine professional like Honus Wagner. My friend said that he'd like to be President of the United States. Neither of us got our wish.

Dwight Eisenhower

KansasFriendFishingBaseball...+7