I don't take me seriously. If we get some giggles, I don't mind.

If a person offends you, and you are in doubt as to whether it was intentional or not, do not resort to extreme measures; simply watch your chance, and hit him with a brick.

Humor is the good natured side of a truth.

Of all God's creatures, there is only one that cannot be made slave of the leash. That one is the cat. If man could be crossed with the cat it wouldimprove the man, but it would deteriorate the cat.

Quitting smoking is easy, I've done it hundreds of times.

Behind every successful man, there is a woman - And behind every unsuccessful man, there are two.