Behind every successful man, there is a woman - And behind every unsuccessful man, there are two.

When your friends begin to flatter you on how young you look, it's a sure sign you're getting old.

I have a higher and grander standard of principle than George Washington. He could not lie; I can, but I won't.

April 1. This is the day upon which we are reminded of what we are on the other three hundred and sixty-four days.

I was educated once - it took me years to get over it.

Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.