I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell - you see, I have friends in both places.

It's a dangerous thing to be married right up to the hilt, like my daughter's husband. The man is at home all day, like a damned soul in hell.

Behind every successful man, there is a woman - And behind every unsuccessful man, there are two.

Of all God's creatures, there is only one that cannot be made slave of the leash. That one is the cat. If man could be crossed with the cat it wouldimprove the man, but it would deteriorate the cat.

April 1. This is the day upon which we are reminded of what we are on the other three hundred and sixty-four days.

Anyone who can only think of one way to spell a word obviously lacks imagination.