Humor Quotes
Once you can accept the universe as matter expanding into nothing that is something, wearing stripes with plaid comes easy.
My hair grows and grows; you cannot stop it - that fellow grows, it grows wild.
In china when you're one in a million, there are 1300 people just like you.
My wife thinks she's better than me at puzzles. I haven't given in on that one yet.
The 'Billionaire' song is what my kids tease me with. They sing it to me. It's funny.
'Tis an ill cook that cannot lick his own fingers.
When we are born we cry that we are come to this great stage of fools.
The longer I live, the more convinced am I that this planet is used by other planets as a lunatic asylum.
Politicians and diapers must be changed often, and for the same reason.
I was educated once - it took me years to get over it.
Why waste your money looking up your family tree? Just go into politics and your opponent will do it for you.
When I was 17, my father was so stupid, I didn't want to be seen with him in public. When I was 24, I was amazed at how much the old man had learned in just 7 years.
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