When it comes to gossip, I have to readily admit men are as guilty as women.

Why did God create men? Because vibrators can't mow the lawn.

An American Monkey after getting drunk on Brandy would never touch it again, and thus is much wiser than most men.

New Orleans food is as delicious as the less criminal forms of sin.

Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.

Both marriage and death ought to be welcome: the one promises happiness, doubtless the other assures it.