You can always tell where Diana Ross has been by the hair that's left behind!

The brain is a wonderful organ; it starts working the moment you get up in the morning and does not stop until you get into the office.

I was young and foolish then; now I am old and foolisher.

I believe our Heavenly Father invented man because he was disappointed in the monkey.

I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell - you see, I have friends in both places.

Behind every successful man, there is a woman - And behind every unsuccessful man, there are two.