Of all God's creatures, there is only one that cannot be made slave of the leash. That one is the cat. If man could be crossed with the cat it wouldimprove the man, but it would deteriorate the cat.

Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.

The British nation is unique in this respect. They are the only people who like to be told how bad things are, who like to be told the worst.

I can't help it if the ladies take note of me; I am not going to protest.

The authorities liked to say that we received a balanced diet; it was indeed balanced - between the unpalatable and the inedible.

Humor is kindly. Wit is caustic.