A joke is a very serious thing.

The British nation is unique in this respect. They are the only people who like to be told how bad things are, who like to be told the worst.

Of all God's creatures, there is only one that cannot be made slave of the leash. That one is the cat. If man could be crossed with the cat it would improve the man, but it would deteriorate the cat.

It is a very fine thing to refuse an invitation, but it is a good thing to wait till you get it first.

If you eliminate smoking and gambling, you will be amazed to find that almost all an Englishman's pleasures can be, and mostly are, shared by his dog.

I can't help it if the ladies take note of me; I am not going to protest.