Clever and attractive women do not want to vote; they are willing to let men govern as long as they govern men.

Humor is kindly. Wit is caustic.

The British nation is unique in this respect. They are the only people who like to be told how bad things are, who like to be told the worst.

I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell - you see, I have friends in both places.

The authorities liked to say that we received a balanced diet; it was indeed balanced - between the unpalatable and the inedible.

I've been on a calendar, but I've never been on time.