A joke is a very serious thing.

If you eliminate smoking and gambling, you will be amazed to find that almost all an Englishman's pleasures can be, and mostly are, shared by his dog.

Clever and attractive women do not want to vote; they are willing to let men govern as long as they govern men.

A lot of my rhymes are just to get chuckles out of people. Anybody with half a brain is going to be able to tell when I'm joking and when I'm serious.

It is a very fine thing to refuse an invitation, but it is a good thing to wait till you get it first.

Humor is kindly. Wit is caustic.