It is a very fine thing to refuse an invitation, but it is a good thing to wait till you get it first.

Of all God's creatures, there is only one that cannot be made slave of the leash. That one is the cat. If man could be crossed with the cat it would improve the man, but it would deteriorate the cat.

Taking jobs to build up your resume is the same as saving up sex for old age.

"I hope, sir, that I will shoot your picture on your hundredth birthday." I don't see why not, young man. You look reasonably fit and healthy.

My most brilliant achievement was my ability to be able to persuade my wife to marry me.

I like pigs. Dogs look up to us. Cats look down on us. Pigs treat us as equals.