The authorities liked to say that we received a balanced diet; it was indeed balanced - between the unpalatable and the inedible.

Of all God's creatures, there is only one that cannot be made slave of the leash. That one is the cat. If man could be crossed with the cat it would improve the man, but it would deteriorate the cat.

The British nation is unique in this respect. They are the only people who like to be told how bad things are, who like to be told the worst.

Clever and attractive women do not want to vote; they are willing to let men govern as long as they govern men.

I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell - you see, I have friends in both places.

It is a very fine thing to refuse an invitation, but it is a good thing to wait till you get it first.