A joke is a very serious thing.

Clever and attractive women do not want to vote; they are willing to let men govern as long as they govern men.

It is a very fine thing to refuse an invitation, but it is a good thing to wait till you get it first.

If you eliminate smoking and gambling, you will be amazed to find that almost all an Englishman's pleasures can be, and mostly are, shared by his dog.

The British nation is unique in this respect. They are the only people who like to be told how bad things are, who like to be told the worst.

A lot of my rhymes are just to get chuckles out of people. Anybody with half a brain is going to be able to tell when I'm joking and when I'm serious.