I've been on a calendar, but I've never been on time.

A lot of my rhymes are just to get chuckles out of people. Anybody with half a brain is going to be able to tell when I'm joking and when I'm serious.

The British nation is unique in this respect. They are the only people who like to be told how bad things are, who like to be told the worst.

Clever and attractive women do not want to vote; they are willing to let men govern as long as they govern men.

Of all God's creatures, there is only one that cannot be made slave of the leash. That one is the cat. If man could be crossed with the cat it wouldimprove the man, but it would deteriorate the cat.

Saving is a fine thing. Especially when your parents have done it for you.