Behind every successful man, there is a woman - And behind every unsuccessful man, there are two.

My hair grows and grows; you cannot stop it - that fellow grows, it grows wild.

There's no 'dumb-ass' vaccine.

It came in a vision - a man appeared on a flaming pie and said unto them, 'From this day forward you are Beatles with an A.' Thank you Mister Man, they said, thanking him.

It's like the kettle killed itself rather than be used by me.

I arm myself with punch lines and a big old water gun.