Alcohol is a very necessary article. It enables Parliament to do things at eleven at night that no sane person would do at eleven in the morning.

A lot of my rhymes are just to get chuckles out of people. Anybody with half a brain is going to be able to tell when I'm joking and when I'm serious.

My hair grows and grows; you cannot stop it - that fellow grows, it grows wild.

A mother takes twenty years to make a man of her boy, and another woman makes a fool of him in twenty minutes.

By working faithfully eight hours a day, you may eventually get to be a boss and work twelve hours a day.

I arm myself with punch lines and a big old water gun.