When majority is insane, sane must go to asylum.

The brain is a wonderful organ; it starts working the moment you get up in the morning and does not stop until you get into the office.

Alcohol is the devil and I need Chinese food.

Alcohol may be man's worst enemy, but the bible says love your enemy.

Always remember that I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has taken out of me.

Nothing soothes me more after a long and maddening course of pianoforte recitals than to sit and have my teeth drilled.