Love means having to say you're sorry every fifteen minutes.

Always remember that I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has taken out of me.

Las Vegas is the only place I know where money really talks - it says, Goodbye.

A man doesn't know what happiness is until he's married. By then it's too late.

If you see a man opening a car door for a woman, it means one of two things: it's either a new woman or a new car!

In china when you're one in a million, there are 1300 people just like you.