Alcohol may be man's worst enemy, but the bible says love your enemy.

Actually I don't remember being born, it must have happened during one of my black outs.

Saving is a fine thing. Especially when your parents have done it for you.

"I hope, sir, that I will shoot your picture on your hundredth birthday." I don't see why not, young man. You look reasonably fit and healthy.

Our dog chases people on a bike. We've had to take it off him.

I like pigs. Dogs look up to us. Cats look down on us. Pigs treat us as equals.