Always remember that I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has taken out of me.

Winston Churchill

AlcoholTakenRememberAlways...+1

Both marriage and death ought to be welcome: the one promises happiness, doubtless the other assures it.

Mark Twain

MarriageDeathWelcomeHappiness...+1

I read somewhere that 77 per cent of all the mentally ill live in poverty. Actually, I'm more intrigued by the 23 per cent who are apparently doing quite well for themselves.

Jerry Garcia

MentallyIllPovertyLive...+1

I would like to die on Mars. Just not on impact.

Elon Musk

MarsImpactDie

Americans are funny people. First, you shock them, and then they put you in a museum.

Mick Jagger

AmericansShockMuseumFunny...+1

If a person offends you, and you are in doubt as to whether it was intentional or not, do not resort to extreme measures; simply watch your chance, and hit him with a brick.

Mark Twain

PersonOffendDoubtIntentional...+1