If a person offends you, and you are in doubt as to whether it was intentional or not, do not resort to extreme measures; simply watch your chance, and hit him with a brick.

Mark Twain

I have a higher and grander standard of principle than George Washington. He could not lie; I can, but I won't.

Both marriage and death ought to be welcome: the one promises happiness, doubtless the other assures it.

By trying we can easily learn to endure adversity. Another man's, I mean.

Politicians and diapers must be changed often, and for the same reason.

April 1. This is the day upon which we are reminded of what we are on the other three hundred and sixty-four days.

God created war so that Americans would learn geography.

Dalai LamaSpiritual Leader

Elon MuskBusinessman