There are some important differences between me and Tony Stark, like I have five kids, so I spend more time going to Disneyland than parties.

A man doesn't know what happiness is until he's married. By then it's too late.

When I first met him [David Beckham] I didn't know whether to shake his hand or lick his face.

Las Vegas is the only place I know where money really talks - it says, Goodbye.

If I ever have any back-up dancers, I want the penguins from Madagascar.

Why did God create men? Because vibrators can't mow the lawn.