Alcohol is a very necessary article. It enables Parliament to do things at eleven at night that no sane person would do at eleven in the morning.

The saving grace of America lies in the fact that the overwhelming majority are possessed of two great qualities--a sense of humor and a sense of proportion.

Anyone who can only think of one way to spell a word obviously lacks imagination.

New Orleans food is as delicious as the less criminal forms of sin.

One of the most striking differences between a cat and a lie is that a cat has only nine lives.

Both marriage and death ought to be welcome: the one promises happiness, doubtless the other assures it.