Alcohol is a very necessary article. It enables Parliament to do things at eleven at night that no sane person would do at eleven in the morning.

George Bernard Shaw

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The saving grace of America lies in the fact that the overwhelming majority are possessed of two great qualities--a sense of humor and a sense of proportion.

Franklin Roosevelt

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Anyone who can only think of one way to spell a word obviously lacks imagination.

Mark Twain

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Politicians and diapers must be changed often, and for the same reason.

Mark Twain

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I was educated once - it took me years to get over it.

Mark Twain

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Why waste your money looking up your family tree? Just go into politics and your opponent will do it for you.

Mark Twain

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