Why did God create men? Because vibrators can't mow the lawn.

Madonna

GodMenVibratorsMow...+2

An American Monkey after getting drunk on Brandy would never touch it again, and thus is much wiser than most men.

Charles Darwin

AmericanMonkeyBrandyWise...+1

My constant prayer, these days, as I start my backswing is, 'Oh, please let me swing slowly.' The trouble is that sometimes I wonder whether I swing at all; whether I am not strictly a chopper."

Dwight Eisenhower

PrayerBackswingTroubleWonder...+1

Humor is mankind's greatest blessing.

Mark Twain

HumorMankindGreatestBlessing

I was educated once - it took me years to get over it.

Mark Twain

YearsEducatedOver It

A circle is a round straight line with a hole in the middle.

Mark Twain

CircleRoundStraightLine...+2