I do have one instruction for you, General. Do something about that damned football team.

How has retirement affected my golf game? A lot more people beat me now.

An atheist is a man who watches a Notre Dame - Southern Methodist University game and doesn't care who wins.

I believe our Heavenly Father invented man because he was disappointed in the monkey.

One of the things that I noticed in war was how difficult it was for our soldiers, at first, to realize that there are no rules to war. Our men were raised in sports, where a referee runs a football game, or an umpire a baseball game, and so forth.

There is one thing about being President - nobody can tell you when to sit down.