I was training to be an electrician. I suppose I got wired the wrong way round somewhere along the line.

A moderately honest man with a moderately faithful wife, moderate drinkers both, in a moderately healthy house: that is the true middle class unit.

An awful lot of gay pop stars pretend to be straight. I'm going to start a movement of straight pop stars pretending to be gay.

Get your facts first, then you can distort them as you please.

I was educated once - it took me years to get over it.

The source of all humor is not laughter, but sorrow.