A moderately honest man with a moderately faithful wife, moderate drinkers both, in a moderately healthy house: that is the true middle class unit.

An awful lot of gay pop stars pretend to be straight. I'm going to start a movement of straight pop stars pretending to be gay.

I was training to be an electrician. I suppose I got wired the wrong way round somewhere along the line.

Of all God's creatures, there is only one that cannot be made slave of the leash. That one is the cat. If man could be crossed with the cat it wouldimprove the man, but it would deteriorate the cat.

I believe our Heavenly Father invented man because he was disappointed in the monkey.

I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell - you see, I have friends in both places.