An awful lot of gay pop stars pretend to be straight. I'm going to start a movement of straight pop stars pretending to be gay.

I was training to be an electrician. I suppose I got wired the wrong way round somewhere along the line.

A moderately honest man with a moderately faithful wife, moderate drinkers both, in a moderately healthy house: that is the true middle class unit.

Why waste your money looking up your family tree? Just go into politics and your opponent will do it for you.

Of all God's creatures, there is only one that cannot be made slave of the leash. That one is the cat. If man could be crossed with the cat it would improve the man, but it would deteriorate the cat.

Humor is the good natured side of a truth.