Las Vegas is the only place I know where money really talks - it says, Goodbye.

A man doesn't know what happiness is until he's married. By then it's too late.

If you see a man opening a car door for a woman, it means one of two things: it's either a new woman or a new car!

Behind every successful man, there is a woman - And behind every unsuccessful man, there are two.

"I hope, sir, that I will shoot your picture on your hundredth birthday." I don't see why not, young man. You look reasonably fit and healthy.

A mother takes twenty years to make a man of her boy, and another woman makes a fool of him in twenty minutes.