Don't throw me teddy-bears, I'm 23! I'm a man! Throw me condoms or money! Paper, not coins.

I'm a born entertainer. When I open the fridge door and the light goes on, I burst into song.

I am the only man who can say he's been in Take That and at least two members of the Spice Girls.

I'm quite obviously not the world's most handsome man - I'm the second world's most handsome man!

I met Courtney Love and she said she'd like to sleep with me, but she couldn't cos of my "pop-star thing"... so I said to her I couldn't sleep with her either - cos of her 'ugly thing'.

Good evening everybody, my name is Robbie Williams, this is my band and for the next two hours YOUR ASS IS MINE!