Wit Quotes
About ten years ago, I knew three chords on the guitar. Now, in 1982, I know three chords on the guitar.
If I didn't do this well, I just wouldn't have anything to do... I can't cook, and I'd be a terrible housewife.
You know something? There's been a lot of rumors lately about a certain band called Queen. The rumors are that... The rumors are that we're gonna split up. What do you think? [audience replies "No!"] [Pointing to his posterior] They're talking from here!
I hate pockets in trousers ... By the way, I do not wear a hose. My hose is my own. No coke bottle, nothing stuffed down there.
When I was a little baby, I remember that one moment of calm, peace. And three minutes after that, it was on.
I definitely did look up to John. We all looked up to John. He was older and he was very much the leader; he was the quickest wit and the smartest.
We have a society where every hit maker and TV presenter is gay.
Welcome to the world of bullshit, my dear. You have arrived.
It's very important to have two tiaras when you're on the road. You never know when you'll be invited to something really formal.
Clever and attractive women do not want to vote; they are willing to let men govern as long as they govern men.
Find enough clever things to say, and you're a Prime Minister; write them down and you're a Shakespeare.
Hell is full of musical amateurs: music is the brandy of the damned. May not one lost soul be permitted to abstain?
Upon meeting, you're judged by your clothes, upon parting you're judged by your wits.
Humor is kindly. Wit is caustic.
I've been on a calendar, but I've never been on time.
Never have a battle of wits with an unarmed person.
I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell - you see, I have friends in both places.
The art of prophecy is very difficult, especially with respect to the future.
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