Oh, I was not made for heaven. No, I don't want to go to heaven. Hell is much better. Think of all the interesting people you're going to meet down there.

In the twinkling of an eye I found myself without an office, without a seat, without a party, and without an appendix.

I had been brought up and trained to have the utmost contempt for people who got drunk - and I would have liked to have the boozing scholars of the Universities wheeled into line and properly chastised for their squalid misuse of what I must ever regard as a gift of the gods.

Toilet paper too thin, newspapers too fat!

The stern compression of circumstances, the twinges of adversity, the spur of slights and taunts in early years, are needed to evoke that ruthless fixity of purpose and tenacious wit without which great actions are seldom accomplished.

It is a very fine thing to refuse an invitation, but it is a good thing to wait till you get it first.