Donald Trump is the president. It's not a bad dream. It really happened. It's like being dumped by a lover and also being stuck in a nightmare.

When two people are under the influence of the most violent, most insane, most delusive, and most transient of passions, they are required to swear that they will remain in that excited, abnormal, and exhausting condition continuously until death do them part.

Opera is when a tenor and soprano want to make love, but are prevented from doing so by a baritone.

There are some experiences in life which should not be demanded twice from any man, and one of them is listening to the Brahms Requiem.

If you eliminate smoking and gambling, you will be amazed to find that almost all an Englishman's pleasures can be, and mostly are, shared by his dog.

Except during the nine months before he draws his first breath, no man manages his affairs as well as a tree does.