You know something? There's been a lot of rumors lately about a certain band called Queen. The rumors are that... The rumors are that we're gonna split up. What do you think? [audience replies "No!"] [Pointing to his posterior] They're talking from here!

If I didn't do this well, I just wouldn't have anything to do... I can't cook, and I'd be a terrible housewife.

About ten years ago, I knew three chords on the guitar. Now, in 1982, I know three chords on the guitar.

Oh, I was not made for heaven. No, I don't want to go to heaven. Hell is much better. Think of all the interesting people you're going to meet down there.

We came to South America originally because we were invited down. They wanted four wholesome lads to play some nice music. Now I'd like to buy up the entire continent and install myself as President.

Never trust a man who has not a single redeeming vice.