You know something? There's been a lot of rumors lately about a certain band called Queen. The rumors are that... The rumors are that we're gonna split up. What do you think? [audience replies "No!"] [Pointing to his posterior] They're talking from here!

About ten years ago, I knew three chords on the guitar. Now, in 1982, I know three chords on the guitar.

Oh, I was not made for heaven. No, I don't want to go to heaven. Hell is much better. Think of all the interesting people you're going to meet down there.

We came to South America originally because we were invited down. They wanted four wholesome lads to play some nice music. Now I'd like to buy up the entire continent and install myself as President.

I hate pockets in trousers ... By the way, I do not wear a hose. My hose is my own. No coke bottle, nothing stuffed down there.

The British nation is unique in this respect. They are the only people who like to be told how bad things are, who like to be told the worst.