Wit Quotes

Socrates-the malicious Socrates, it would seem, married ironically, just to demonstrate this proposition.

Wit is the epitaph of an emotion.

There is small disproportion betwixt a fool who useth not wit because he hath it not and him that useth it not when it should avail him.

There is no marvel in a woman learning to speak, but there would be in teaching her to hold her tongue.

Where might is mixed with wit, there is too good an accord in a government.

A bore is a person who opens his mouth and puts his feats in it.

I can't help it if the ladies take note of me; I am not going to protest.

The authorities liked to say that we received a balanced diet; it was indeed balanced - between the unpalatable and the inedible.

I'm getting sick and tired of people saying that this movement has been infiltrated by Communists. There are as many Communists in this freedom movement as there are Eskimos in Florida.

There are two things that are more difficult than making an after-dinner speech: climbing a wall which is leaning toward you and kissing a girl who is leaning away from you.

If the Almighty were to rebuild the world and asked me for advice, I would have English Channels round every country. And the atmosphere would be such that anything which attempted to fly would be set on fire.

The British nation is unique in this respect. They are the only people who like to be told how bad things are, who like to be told the worst.

Cannot possibly attend first night, will attend second... if there is one.

I'm just preparing my impromptu remarks.

Never trust a man who has not a single redeeming vice.

I always avoid prophesying beforehand, because it is a much better policy to prophesy after the event has already taken place.

Saving is a fine thing. Especially when your parents have done it for you.

The water was not fit to drink. To make it palatable, we had to add whisky. By diligent effort, I learned to like it.

He has the gift of compressing the largest amount of words into the smallest amount of thoughts.

Mr. Attlee is a very modest man. Indeed he has a lot to be modest about.