The art of prophecy is very difficult, especially with respect to the future.

I do not admire people who are wise after the event. I would rather be impaled on the other horn of the dilemma and be called one of the "I told you so's."

I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell - you see, I have friends in both places.

The Almighty in His infinite wisdom did not see fit to create Frenchmen in the image of Englishmen.

I drink and smoke and I am two hundred percent fit.

There are two things that are more difficult than making an after-dinner speech: climbing a wall which is leaning toward you and kissing a girl who is leaning away from you.