Quotes By Mark Twain

We have the best government that money can buy.

Never allow someone to be your priority while allowing yourself to be their option.

Worrying is like paying a debt you don't owe.

It's better to be an optimist who is sometimes wrong than a pessimist who is always right.

The older I get, the more clearly I remember things that never happened.

The secret of getting started is breaking your complex overwhelming tasks into small manageable tasks, and starting on the first one.

If voting made any difference they wouldn't let us do it.

There is nothing so annoying as to have two people talking when you're busy interrupting.

Both marriage and death ought to be welcome: the one promises happiness, doubtless the other assures it.

Everything human is pathetic. The secret source of humor itself is not joy but sorrow. There is no humor in heaven.

Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.

Classic' - a book which people praise and don't read.

Only one thing is impossible for God: To find any sense in any copyright law on the planet.

When angry, count to four. When very angry, swear.

When you fish for love, bait with your heart, not your brain.

To succeed in life, you need two things: ignorance and confidence.

A man's character may be learned from the adjectives which he habitually uses in conversation.

Get your facts first, then you can distort them as you please.

Let us be thankful for the fools. Because of them the rest of us could not succeed.

Write without pay until somebody offers to pay you. If nobody offers within three years, sawing wood is what you were intended for.