I would challenge you to a battle of wits, but I see you are unarmed!

I've been on a calendar, but I've never been on time.

Upon meeting, you're judged by your clothes, upon parting you're judged by your wits.

There is nothing so annoying as to have two people talking when you're busy interrupting.

Nothing spoils a good story like the arrival of an eyewitness.

Education consists mainly in what we have unlearned.