Quotes By Mark Twain

Let us be thankful for the fools. Because of them the rest of us could not succeed.

Get your facts first, then you can distort them as you please.

A man's character may be learned from the adjectives which he habitually uses in conversation.

To succeed in life, you need two things: ignorance and confidence.

When you fish for love, bait with your heart, not your brain.

When angry, count to four. When very angry, swear.

Only one thing is impossible for God: To find any sense in any copyright law on the planet.

Classic' - a book which people praise and don't read.

Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.

Everything human is pathetic. The secret source of humor itself is not joy but sorrow. There is no humor in heaven.

Both marriage and death ought to be welcome: the one promises happiness, doubtless the other assures it.

There is nothing so annoying as to have two people talking when you're busy interrupting.

If voting made any difference they wouldn't let us do it.

The secret of getting started is breaking your complex overwhelming tasks into small manageable tasks, and starting on the first one.

The older I get, the more clearly I remember things that never happened.

It's better to be an optimist who is sometimes wrong than a pessimist who is always right.

Worrying is like paying a debt you don't owe.

Never allow someone to be your priority while allowing yourself to be their option.

We have the best government that money can buy.

The political and commercial morals of the United States are not merely food for laughter, they are an entire banquet.