Woman was God's second mistake.

When God created man and woman, he did not take a patent. That's why any imbecile has been able to do so ever since.

Let us be thankful for the fools. Because of them the rest of us could not succeed.

Reader, suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a member of Congress. But I repeat myself.

The fourth of July has not quite dwindled away; it is still a great day - for burning fire-crackers!!!

Cannot possibly attend first night, will attend second... if there is one.